Living a Blessed Life

And… I’m HOME! It was a typical Black Friday morning. The Schwarz household got showered and ready for the day, made some coffee, grabbed our coats, and headed out the door. First stop, Menards! We made our way through the store with ease and found most of the things on our list. To our surprise the checkout lines were very short, which made the experience even more enjoyable. Next stop, Target. I started feeling like I had an upset stomach while we were shopping and when we arrived at Target it was getting a bit more uncomfortable. I was a little perplexed because my diet doesn’t vary, so thinking I ate something bad was not a consideration. Darek and the kids were looking at games and toys, and I let them know I was not feeling well and I would wait for them in the car. I just needed to sit down and see if this discomfort would pass. I got to the car and took a Zofran to help with the nausea I started feeling. I was coming off of my chemo infusion week, so I thought maybe ...

“ Behind every smile is a broken heart. We are all carrying something heavy. It’s hard, in the darkness of sorrow, to believe that we are a new creation and allowed to flourish again. God can transform our sorrow as we stay connected with community. ” — Unknown Many things weigh heavy on our hearts, especially during this time of year. It feels more profound in this season when we traditionally spend more time gathered with family and dear friends. Grief seems to re-surface (personally, the loss of my father-in-law last year) and feelings and emotions compound as we experience new pain and sorrow. Grief comes in waves, or so we are told. I would liken it to a cyclical season of storms. Emotional turmoil feels equal to the physical destruction that Hurricanes, Tornadoes, Blizzards, you name it, leave with us. A song by We Are Messengers says: “Maybe it's okay if I'm not okay 'Cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me Maybe it's all right if ...

Today marked the completion of my 10th infusion! Yes, 10!!! I’m stuck between feeling relieved that this treatment is almost complete and feeling disappointed that I am not already finished. If I could submit a minor complaint it would be that this is HARD and “ I JUST WANT TO BE DONE! ” I know so many people have it worse than me and it seems unfair to them that I only have to endure 12 rounds of chemotherapy. That is the realization that brings me back to being grateful that I will be finished with this treatment soon, however, I am feeling completely selfish and I really just want to be finished now. Boo hoo, woe is me, wah wah! Okay, now I am finished feeling sorry for myself. Monday morning was the start of this week’s infusion and I had a new nurse this time. She was lighthearted and funny, so that made the morning more enjoyable. That, and the fact that the elevators were BOTH working! Have I failed to mention in the past that the elevators in the bui...