Living a Blessed Life

What if I had done this differently? What if I hadn’t ignored the signs? What if I had passed on that decision and waited a little longer? What if I would have arrived a few minutes earlier / later? What if I took that leap instead of staying where I am? What if I left? What if I trusted my intuition instead of doing what the rest of the world said was right for me? What if, what if, what if? There are more what-ifs in our lives than I care to bore you with. This question plagues us and tries desperately to rob us of our joy, especially when the decision we are making feels significant. We are so good at playing out scenarios in our minds with different outcomes based on different decisions, and then if we think the outcome would have been better we beat ourselves up internally for making what appears to be the wrong decision. (Or am I the only one who does this)? We all know that hindsight is 20/20, and that is great because it helps shape our future decisions. But… I encourage you...

Whether you enjoy college basketball or not, I think there are many areas in our lives where the term, “March Madness” applies. Personally, I love college basketball. Some people believe the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday so we can all sleep in after the late night watching football. I, on the other hand, prefer that we have this same benefit during March Madness. Full disclosure - I did turn our TVs at work to the different network stations broadcasting games yesterday. We had a slow day at the clinic so I was able to take in quite a few games, flipping the channel as games got close. My bracket is not perfect but is pretty well intact at this point. I love a good upset, so I do have a few underdogs in my team selection. For those who follow this fun basketball tournament, what happened to Kentucky???? That was one I did not expect! Toby made his first ever basket during a game - and it was a 3!!! (Proud Mom moment) March has hi...

Happy March! Today marks the start of National Colon Cancer Awareness Month. The first Friday in March is designated Dress in Blue Day to bring awareness. You better believe I am wearing one of my many blue Colon Cancer Alliance tee shirts today, and I will continue wearing blue throughout March. March is the month I was diagnosed with Stage IIIa colon cancer in 2020, and can you believe that March is the also the month I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic colon cancer in 2022? What?!?!? It feels like a juxtaposition in my mind, processing the grief, anxiety, and trauma, while also celebrating this month in an effort to raise awareness and promote screening. In my own little corner of my own little world it feels like these events align for a significant purpose. In the real world it doesn’t hold nearly the same weight or emotional tie. If only I could sit with each one of you face to face, look into your eyes and compassionately encourage you to get screened for the highly tr...

The odometer on my 2016 Hyundai Santa Fe celebrated 100,000 miles recently! If you are unaware, my car’s engine was rebuilt this fall so it has a mere 4,000 miles on it, but this is still a fun milestone. I am holding out hope that this car has another 100,000 miles++ in it so I can pass it along to Toby someday. TOBY! Yes, I am thinking long-term here. YIKES! He will be 13 this summer, learning to drive in two short years! I know that time will be here before we know it. Thank goodness we have a couple of years because I am most certainly not ready! YIKES!!! Do you ever feel like you have reached 100,000 miles in your life? Maybe you feel physically worn out and tired. Restless nights coupled with the aches of gradual aging creep up on us. Maybe it’s not your body, but your mind that is overwhelmed and you wonder how your brain could possibly process any more input. I remember when I was in my early Twenties and I would chuckle at the thought of “feeling” old, clearly lacking ...

I cannot tell you how happy I am writing to you today. One year ago told a very different story in the rollercoaster of my life. It was this time last year that a PET scan revealed an area of supposed concern where I had my liver resection that past August. My oncologist thought that the cancer we thought we had defeated had returned and spread. This was deflating news as we were ready to celebrate health and healing in 2023! A liver biopsy later, we learned that it was inflammation in the cavity where my liver was no longer residing and nothing of concern. This is exactly what the surgeon thought it was, but to gain certainty regarding my healing, the liver biopsy was our best option. I love a good adventure, but I am ready to finish this one. Personally, I prefer adventures in traveling instead. I would venture to guess that is the kind of adventure most people prefer. Feeling down, anxious, tired, overwhelmed, sick, etc. is not where we are meant to park. If this is wher...

Two MUST be better! Unless we are talking about colonoscopies! This week I had the unique privilege of having not only one but TWO colonoscopies. Why, you ask? It’s probably because all of the cool people are doing it. Hahaha! Kidding aside, here is the latest on my crazy healthcare journey. I was supposed to have a routine colonoscopy in March, but my oncologist was very kind and through her compassion toward me and all of the testing I have gone through, she said I could push it off a little while. We decided to do it this fall, in hopes that after a clear report I could wait up to 3 years before I needed another. I scheduled the appointment for Thursday of this week, and due to the ‘not-so-clear’ prep last time I had the special privilege of doing what is called a Double Split Prep. This essentially means prepping twice as much as ‘normal’ people do. Let me tell you how much fun that was! Okay, not really. I’ll spare you the details. I completed everything as described, but I fai...

The sunrise was absolutely stunning this morning! I initially took a picture through the window, but that did not do justice to the colors in the sky, so I braved the 24-degree temperature and stepped outside. I think it was worth it! By the time the kids and I left for school the sun was much higher in the sky and the colors had faded. Each morning that I am met with the beauty of the sunrise I can’t help but stop and thank God. I have learned the practice of intentional gratitude which has become a habit. It is easy to get wrapped up in our thoughts and busy lives and miss the simple yet profound messages of peace surrounding us. You may be in a difficult season, but I promise your perspective will change when gratitude becomes a habit. We are entering the season of intentional family time coupled with busy, hurried schedules. Grief feels heavier this time of year. The memories we had have morphed and we are now creating new memories, all the while holding t...